THE TALKER
This person has something to say about what everyone else says and talks frequently but really does not have much to say
THE VICTIM
The victim or the “poor me” person tells a number of sad stories and usually with added drama that people know is beyond the real story. They also often speak with a squeaky or high pitched voice and look down with their eyes but will look up to see if they are getting the pity they are looking for. A victim may say, “What you just said really hurt me deeply.”
THE DOMINATOR
This person will dominate the conversation in a group, talking about almost anything, but usually about themselves but keeping it “safe” and not reveal much about themselves
THE LOOOOOONG STORY-TELLER
This person has problems expressing themselves and just needs time to get it out. They get confused, backtrack, and take a long time to their story. They don’t know when to stop talking
THE DUMPER
This person comes into the group with a true sad tale to tell. He/She can’t hold the story until the group is really ready to hear it. So they “dump” into the group quickly without regard of the impact on others. This is often too much for some people to hear at this point. The response is too often that no one wants to hear it and someone often changes the subject quickly
THE SPOILER
The spoiler is the person that responds to the Dumper by changing the subject quickly after the dumping
THE BULLY
This person comes into the group with a big chip on his shoulder. He / she is really angry and feels a need to take it out on someone, they don’t care much who it is. They enter the circle pounding their fist and making comments like: “Someone will pay for this!”
THE WALK OUT
If someone says something to them that is somewhat derogatory, they might just get up out of their chair and leave the circle and say, “I’ve had enough of this and I’m leaving.” They may also be overcome with emotion and choose to walk out
THE CLAM
This person is quiet to the extreme. Even when asked directly and repeatedly the clam has no real contribution. They offer vague answers but do talk some
PINBALL WIZZARD
This person often throws out one thought after another. They will talk about anything and everything. They often shift topics without closure to a previous topic. They leave others dazed and not knowing what to do with this person
INTELLECTUALIZER
This person stays in their head the entire time and has no interest in moving into their emotions when sharing their thoughts or ideas. They will change the subject if necessary and use intellectual descriptions and philosophies to keep from opening their heart to the group
POLLYANNA
This person will try to convince the group that life is great, the group is wonderful and everything will work out in a beautiful way. They will follow up sad stories or depressing comments with happy statements that may not really have substance, but are designed to mask true feelings and paint a smile on a tearful face
ORGANIZER
This person may use structure or re-organization as a way to gain control of the group and possibly escape the need to stay in the moment and work through a painful emotion or discussion. They may also not like someone in the group and through their organizational role try to remove that person. An example might be, “I think we should divide into two groups because I feel more comfortable in a smaller group.”
CRITIC
This person does not communicate their own feelings well, but easily criticizes the feelings, behaviors or statements of others. “I don’t think you should feel that way.” “You actually don’t know the Bible all that well because in Hezekiah it says….”
NON-PARTICIPATOR
This person is physically in the group but has chosen not to participate in the discussion or the group activities, or they participate minimally enough to stay in the group. They are likely aware of all that is being said and done but do not have the courage or will to engage with the group
FIXER
This is the person who chooses to give advice to individuals and the group. They correct people when they are in error. They make it clear that they know the solutions to the problems of others. “If you would just do what I did, you wouldn’t feel that way”.
VIPER
This person is often mad at the world, cynical and critical about everything. They may say, “I was just waiting for you to say something stupid like that. I expected that from a person like you.” The Viper is angry and may or may not have connected their grief to their anger. Expressing frustration, outrage, and all with a cynical attitude is a way of expressing anger at a lack of control over events resulting in the death of a loved one
THE SCRIPTURE SPOUTER
This person uses the Bible in ways it should not be used. They may quote verses to appear spiritual, end a difficult discussion with a black & white scripture applied to a grey issue, or to show dominance, control, or authority over someone else in the group. This person confuses faith in the Bible with good hermeneutics (application of the Bible to life)